Burn It Down
by Mon Petit Pierrot
Summary: AU: The nations are recruited to protect one Harry Potter from the dark forces surrounding Hogwarts. That is, if they don't kill each other first. crack, parody, rated T for safety, not to be taken seriously. pairings inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Burn It Down**  
****Author: **Mon Petit Pierrot  
**Fandoms: **Hetalia: Axis Powers / Harry Potter (#5)  
**Rating: **T (for safety)  
**Summary: **The nations are recruited to protect one Harry Potter from the dark forces surrounding Hogwarts. That is, if they don't kill each other first.  
**Warnings: **slight crack, parody, rated T for safety, not to be taken seriously.

**Pairings: **America/England, Spain/Romano, Germany/Italy, Russia/China, Austria/Switzerland, Prussia/Canada

**Note: **I'm so glad that you decided to give this crazy idea of mine a try! (And yes, I know that I have to update _Tomate Italiano Poco _- I'm working on it, promise!) I have always wanted to write something like this, and the image of the nations pissing off Umbridge has been forever stuck in my head. That was the sole inspiration to write this. So I warn you again to NOT take this seriously. This was written partly for my amusement and hopefully yours. Please enjoy!

* * *

**- Burn It Down -**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

_**Flare up and burn it down**__**  
**__**from corner to corner with that hellfire**__**  
**__**don't leave a single trace**__**  
**__**burn down even their souls**_

Harry was ecstatic – as much as he could be in his current situation, without information – that he would finally be freed of the clutches of living with his aunt and uncle. He wouldn't have to see them for several months. It didn't really matter to him where he was going.

Lupin beckoned to him and led him outside, looking around cautiously. Harry caught sight of a slim figure standing at the edge of the dry lawn, staring up into the clear sky. From what he could see, it was a man with short, scruffy blond hair and bright emerald eyes that almost seemed to glow in the darkness.

As he followed Lupin, Harry noticed that the man wore very formal clothing he imagined that Muggle teachers would wear. He could hear soft chanting in a language he didn't recognize, noticing that the strange man had spread out his hands as though he were embracing something.

"Arthur!" Lupin hissed, stopping at his side.

The chanting stopped and Arthur turned towards him, a small frown settling briefly on his face as his eyes flicked towards Harry. The sour expression disappeared instantly. "Good evening, Harry," he said warmly, smiling.

"Uh…good…good evening," Harry stuttered. He was a bit surprised that this Arthur person was not staring at his scar, but was instead greeting him like an old friend.

"It really is a pity that your only family left is full of bloody gits, you know," Arthur murmured, running a hand through his hair as he sighed. "I'm almost ashamed."

"Yes, quite unfortunate," Lupin said, searching the sky before he mounted his broom. He motioned for Harry to do the same as Arthur climbed on behind the werewolf. "Fly high and follow me. We must be very careful."

Harry nodded in consent, keeping his eyes on the sky above and trying to ignore Arthur's chanting. He wondered vaguely if it was some sort of spell. There was something off about the blond man, something that was alien and familiar at the same time.

If the events of the past year had anything to go by, he was sure that there was a reason.

* * *

Harry stared incredulously at the old house that materialized out of nowhere. He heard Arthur chuckle and a hand clap on his shoulder. "Come on, Harry. Everything will be made clear once we go inside."

Numbly, he allowed Arthur to guide him up the stairs with Lupin following. He noticed that the blond didn't have to produce a wand to obtain entrance, and that the door simply swung open to admit their party.

The interior was just as cheery as the outside, with high walls and a drafty feel among the covered paintings and cobwebbed chandeliers. The hallway opened up to a foyer with the winding staircase and a wide room that was bare of any decorations, but had several closed doors leading to somewhere.

What _was_ this place?

"Harry!" And all of a sudden, he was being hugged by the familiar embrace of Mrs. Weasley. "How are you, dear?" She turned to Lupin. "He's just arrived now, the meeting's started," she informed him quickly.

Lupin nodded and slipped past Harry towards the open door at the corner of the room. His body tensed as if to follow, but Mrs. Weasley noticed and shook her head. "The meeting is just for members of the Order, Harry. Ah…Arthur…could you take Harry to the others, please? I must be getting back to the meeting."

Arthur smiled. "Of course, Molly. Get back to meeting. Follow me, Harry." He turned towards the farthest door and opened it, disappearing inside. Harry followed him and was surprised to find a wide room with dusty red couches and shelves full of unidentifiable objects.

"Iggy! You're back!" a loud obnoxious voice greeted them. A tall blond with bright blue eyes came towards them, grinning widely.

Arthur scowled, but Harry could see a small smile tugging at his lips. "I said _not_ to call me that, Alfred."

The other blond shrugged nonchalantly as he ate something that was emblazoned with the name _McDonald's_. Wasn't that the American food company that made its burgers out of old cow or something outrageous to that extent?

"_Harry_!" He recognized Hermione's voice as she embraced him. "We were _so _worried! We wanted to tell you everything, we really did, but Dumbledore warned us, and oh, Harry!"

"Hermione, let him breathe, will you?" Ron said. "Hey, mate. How have you been, you know, living with your relatives and all?"

"Fine," Harry said. He was a little angry that he couldn't get the answers he had been looking for all summer, but he was so glad that he was able to see his friends again.

"Harry. I would like to introduce you to my companions. You will be seeing a lot more of them from now on," Arthur said. Hermione let go of Harry and stood beside him as Arthur gestured towards one person in the room that he hadn't even noticed.

"Does he know?" Alfred asked Arthur.

"No. I was just about to tell him." Arthur turned to Harry, his face serious. "Harry, would you believe me if I told you that we were something you had never seen before?"

"I suppose I would," Harry said hesitantly. "For the past four years, my friends and I have seen things that no other wizard has."

"Yes," Arthur nodded. "That is true. So I hope that you _will _believe me." He took a deep breath. "My name is not really Arthur, Harry. That is just the name I go by if I meet ordinary people. My official name is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Or England, if you prefer."

Harry gaped at him.

"I am the personification of England, Harry. I know everything about my citizens, my economy, and my government. And I am telling you this because Dumbledore has implored for our help in protecting you." Harry opened his mouth to protest but Arthur, _England_, cut him off. "Don't try to deny it, Harry. I can sense Voldemort's dark intent towards you – though he has lost his right to be one of my children a long time ago."

"Y…you can…_sense_ Voldemort? And you're…England? As in our country?"

England nodded solemnly. "Do you need proof?"

Harry could only stare at him. "So…so you mean to tell me…that you're all…countries?"

"Yep!" the blond known as Alfred chirped. Though Harry supposed that that wasn't really his name.

"Who are _you_, then?"

"I'm the hero!"

England slapped Alfred upside the head. "This wanker here is America, more formally known as the United States of America."

"Damn straight!"

The shorter blond sighed and continued, "And this is Russia." Russia was a very tall platinum blond man with light purple eyes that glinted mischievously as he smiled. For some reason, he was holding a - was that _blood? - _lead pipe. "He is your protectorate, as we all are."

"Greetings, little Harry." Russia's voice was just like a child's, and for some reason a shiver raced down Harry's spine. "We shall become friends, _da_?"

"If you put away that lead pipe, commie," America said too cheerfully, never losing his smile.

Russia's smile seemed to darken. "Why, _Amerika_, you know that I need this to help protect little Harry, _da_? How will I be able to do that if I put it away?"

England cleared his throat hurriedly before America could reply. "Uh, well, Harry, my boy, do you have any questions?"

"_Kolkolkolkolkolkol…_"

"RUSSIA! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT! AND YOU, AMERICA! WILL YOU EVER BEHAVE?"

Harry was startled by the sudden shout and glanced at Hermione, completely lost. She was giggling behind her hand.

"They always act like that," she said. "It's quite fun to watch."

"_Meramera to yaki tsukuse_," England started chanting, his body stiff. There was a powerful aura emanating around him, and Harry backed away a little. "_Sumi kara sumi made sono gouka de, atokata mo nokoranu you ni, tamashii made mo yaki tsukuse…_" (1)

America shrieked like a girl, his arms flailing as though he was trying to ward off the words. "STOP CALLING THE DEVIL! MAKE IT STOP! IGGGGGGGGGGGGGGY!"

"I said _don't call me that!_" England growled. "And I will stop once you stop acting like an idiot!"

"But…but…it was the _commie_!" America whined.

"_Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol…_"

"RUSSIA!"

Harry started laughing, and found that he couldn't stop.

* * *

1- This is England's weird chanting song that we heard the first ten seconds of in one of the episodes in the first series (can't remember which one). America said "I feel like we're summoning the devil!"

_TBC..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Burn It Down**  
****Author: **Mon Petit Pierrot  
**Fandoms: **Hetalia: Axis Powers / Harry Potter (#5)  
**Rating: **T (for safety)  
**Summary: **The nations are recruited to protect one Harry Potter from the dark forces surrounding Hogwarts. That is, if they don't kill each other first.  
**Warnings: **slight crack, parody, rated T for safety, not to be taken seriously.

**Pairings: **America/England, Spain/Romano, Germany/Italy, Russia/China, Austria/Switzerland, Prussia/Canada

**Note: **Wow this took forever to write. It took me 2 revisions to be sastified with it, but even then I'm not entirely sastified with it. This chapter was an attempt to get myself to write the rest of the next chapter for my other Hetalia story, which is polar opposite of this one. Grr...but I'm about a quarter of the way... So anyway, it's a little shorter than the first chapter but this time there's translations to go along with it! So please let me know what you think!

**THANK YOU'S TO**: wolfxcall, irishmandude, Yancha Kitsune, summasaur, shinigamikarasu, Giant-Rubber-Duck, wolfspeaker01, IReadFanficsOnly, and vine.

* * *

**- Burn It Down -**

**Chapter 2**

* * *

"I see you've met the recent nutters that have joined us, Harry!" an orange-haired Weasley twin said brightly.

"Though it shouldn't be hard, knowing the company you've put up all these years," the other twin said in the same tone.

England sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. "That's enough, you bloody prats."

"Why can't you ever address us by name?"

"Because I haven't the patience for your bloody games!"

"What games, sir England?"

"Might you enlighten us?"

"Or just curse at us all day?"

"I say he's off his rocker."

"Indeed."

"You're both bloody wankers, you know that?" England grumbled irritably. "I really don't see how your mother can put up with the pair of you."

"Do you think you speak good old _plain_ English?" America whined suddenly, taking a huge bite out of his burger as he gestured wildly with his other hand. "I can never understand what the hell you Brits are saying! And to think I was raised by you for over a century, Iggy!"

"And I say stop butchering the bloody English language! _And_ I told you to stop calling me that!"

"But…but…Igggggggggggggggggggggggy…."

"NO!"

"Fun, _da_?" Russia asked cheerfully to the room in general, still somehow smiling like a child. "Oh!" the tall Nation exclaimed suddenly, as though he had just remembered something. He sidled closer to Harry and bent down so that he could meet his eyes. "You haven't answered me, little Harry. We shall become friends, _da_?"

"Huh?" Harry was flabbergasted. "Uh, well, I suppose that since I will be seeing all of you this year, I might as well."

"Отлично."

Harry blinked, confused, at the jumble of sounds and smiled weakly.

The door slammed open and a voice filled with irritation growled, "Dinner's ready, _bastardi_!" Harry turned to see a short, dark brown-haired boy with an odd curl to the side of his head and fierce amber eyes glaring at the occupants of the room. "_Cosa_?" he snapped. "_Non hai capito_?"

"Dude," America said calmly as he carefully wrapped his burger, "speak English, will you?"

"_Fottiti bastardo Americano!_" And with that, the man turned around and stormed from the room.

England sighed. "Meet Romano, Harry."

"_Romanito_? Where are you going?" a voice called out from the hall.

"_Sta'zitto bastardo pomodoro_!"

A second man popped his head in, smiling apologetically. "_Lo siento_, _mi amigos. _Romano is in a bit of a bad mood today."

"I wonder why," England said dryly, smirking a bit. "Good luck with that one."

The man laughed, and then blinked when he saw Harry, the smile slipping from his face for a moment before coming back full force as he came into the room. "_Hola_! I don't believe I've met you yet! I'm Spain!"

Spain was revealed to be a slightly taller man with scruffy brown hair and bright emerald eyes. Harry stared at him apprehensively, unsure of what to expect from this other Nation person.

"You must be Harry, _si_?" Spain chattered, shaking his hand enthusiastically. "It's nice to finally meet you! Ah! I'm sorry I have to cut this introduction short, _mi amigo_, but I have to go find _Romanito_ and make sure he doesn't break anything! _Adios_!"

"This is the strangest summer," Harry said once Spain had practically skipped from the room, calling out for Romano as if it was some sort of game.

America laughed and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Just so you know, Romano only speaks in Italian when he's pissed off. Great entertainment, I might add."

England sighed again and explained, "He's been having a tiff with Germany since before World War II, I think. From what I understand, it has something to do with his younger brother still being allies with Germany."

"I…don't think I've heard of a country called Romano," Harry said hesitantly.

"That's because his official country name is Italy Romano," America said in a lecturing sort of voice. "Or South Italy, to be more formal. His younger brother is North Italy, but we just call him Italy."

"Now we eat, _da_?" Russia said, leading the way out of the room.

"Yep!" America chirped happily. "I hope Romano didn't try to poison it again!"

Harry blanched.

* * *

"_Ciao_! Ve~ You must be Harry, _si_? Of course you are! No one else would make such a fuss, _si si_? So how are you, huh? Are you well? I sure hope so! Oh, are you hungry? You want some pasta? Of course you do! I made some especially for you, _il mio amico_!"

"Uh…" Harry was at a complete loss for words. "You're Italy?"

"_Si_! That's me, ve~!"

"Italy!" a stern-looking blond said. "Be quiet, would you?"

"OKAY! You want some pasta, _si_?"

"Oi! _Stupido fratellino_, would you shut the hell up!" Romano yelled.

"I hate to say it, but I have to agree with your brother, Italy," the blond said.

"YOU TOO POTATO BASTARD!"

"Ve~"

Sometimes Harry wondered about the sanity of the world.

* * *

Translations:

Отлично – excellent (Russian)

Bastardi – bastards (Italian)

Cosa? – What? (Italian)

Non hai capito? – Did you not hear me? (Italian)

Fottiti bastardo Americano! – Fuck you American bastard! (Italian)

Sta'zitto bastardo pomodoro – Shut the fuck up tomato bastard (Italian)

Lo siento – I'm sorry (Spanish)

Mi amigos – My friends (Spanish)

Hola – hello (Spanish)

Si – yes (Spanish)

Adios – bye (Spanish)

Ciao – hello (Italian)

Si – yes (Italian)

Il mio amico – my friend (Italian)

Stupido fratellino – stupid little brother (Italian)

* * *

_TBC..._


End file.
